#29 Perfectly Aligned Hole Punching
Mar 16th, 2009 by pfi
Accountants are anal retentive, because if they weren’t, they wouldn’t be accountants. This anal retentive nature shows up in everything they do, including: placing post-it flags, mailing confirmations, taking coffee orders, copying tickmark legends, updating the pending list, photocopying binders, binder clipping packets, parking in the same spot, footing figures, tying workpaper references, stapling workpapers, writing memos, giving comments, verifying excel formulas, charging time, going to lunch on time, making binder tabs, talking about people behind their back, creating the table of contents, claiming mileage, ordering office supplies, organizing their workspace, and hole punching documents.
Paying attention to detail is one of an accountant’s best skills, because kissing ass only gets them so far.
For a normal person, punching holes is a boring chore. The hole puncher frequently jams and can take more time to unjam than the photocopier. Even when it’s not jammed, the hole puncher can only fit 5 pages at a time, and it makes people hate the world.
For an accountant, hole punching is serious business. Holes must be punched in the same location – the EXACT same location – for each page in the binder. Failing this, the pages will be impossible to place neatly in the binder. This is an accountant’s nightmare – yes they have nightmares for things that normal people could care less about.
Hole punching is so serious that accountants have even staged hole punching competitions. The winner of said competition can get a lame gift bearing their company’s logo.
Some accountants go so far as to require each person to use the exact same hole puncher for everything. The thinking here is that by using the same hole puncher day in and day out, the holes will always be punched in the same place. Although this doesn’t accomplish anything, accountants go out of their way to enforce trivial tasks.
If you see an accountant planning out their hole punching strategy, don’t laugh. This is considered extremely rude. However, you can tell them that you’ve been recently having trouble punching holes in the same place each time. This will improve your relationship with the accountant. Another thing you should not do under any circumstance is tell them that hole punching is pointless and going paperless is the future.
this is the dumbest post i’ve seen on this website
Oh no, I think it’s wonderful! You’ve got to love things that are perfectly aligned.
I agree Former Big 4 – I laughed as soon as I saw the title. There’s nothing uglier than pages that aren’t perfectly aligned. Whenever I pick up a file with uneven hole punches I immediately want to go scold whoever prepared it
I agree with the posting above; however, even more important than perfectly aligned hole punching is perfectly vertically oriented staples in the upper left-hand side of your workpapers. This ensures that pages don’t get torn off when the senior/manager is furiously flipping through the workpaper binder at 11 at night.
This website is going down the crapper.
I also thought it was funny, as i spent 2 hours in the field, a day prior to this post, trying to fix a hole punch that was not producing up to expectations.
Needless to say, it’s a paper weight now.
AHPS: Acute Hole Puncher Syndrome.
Not only do the holes have to be exactly aligned, they also have to be exactly the same size, thus the requirement for all staff using the same hole punch. Different punches have different sized holes. Not so cool.
I’ve spent hours thinking about why humans can’t develop a more perfect technology than today’s holepuncher. This is how sad I am.
You’re forgetting about the beauty of the electronic hole-puncher. Greatest invention ever, but I doubt there is a market for them outside of for Big 4 auditing firms. You also didn’t mention the importance of hole reinforcements–a workpaper without them is not complete.
Get a scanner!
#8 I- its called paperless software
Holy sh!t, how are you all not paperless yet? If a client sends or hands me hardcopy, it is all I can do to keep from smacking them. Give me xls, pdf, or txt and I am a happy auditor. Paper, and thus hole-punching, are no good.
I can’t believe no one has mentioned the technique of double-punching! Punch once and then slide the workpaper slightly to the left and punch again – this makes the workpapers slide ever so nicely, and prevents untimely tears, when flipping through the binders.
to #4:
To me there is nothing worse than staples in a workpaper file. It creates this “accordion” effect that is one of the most aggravating things I can think of — well aside from holes that aren’t perfectly aligned of course.
HA…this is so true. At my last client the Sr. Manager noted that she wanted to keep me on her next project because I knew how to punch holes as straight as she liked. Nevermind I had no idea how to audit cash…
That first paragraph described my life during those years I worked in audit. So much lol.
Pre-punched copy paper is the greatest thing since the invention of hyperbole, it forces the company to maintain consistency. I buy it by the case.
Perfect pumch holes for a perfect bunch of ass holes.